You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
