your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
