a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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