oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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