she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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