honey bunches of taint.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
