There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
