she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
