Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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