A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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