I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
