I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
