Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
