I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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