If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
