I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
