I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
