you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
