You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
