I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
