we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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