Pappa wants mamma naked
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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