Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
