Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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