i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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