good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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