Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
