I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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