Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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