Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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