Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
if only i could text you this smell
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
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