Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I see more hoeing in ur future
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