That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
