i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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