You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Randomize
