it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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