guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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