Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
