Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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