Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
