she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just high enough for therapy.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
