um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I don't think brook has ever known best
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
