i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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