i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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