just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
