I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
