you guys were way drunker than both of me
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
