When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
