She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
