We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
