My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
