they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
