Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
