There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
