You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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