these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
